The beginning of the beginning

It started innocently enough, a spilled coffee and a ruined keyboard. The keyboard was replaced but no one thought about all of those instruments underneath. The coffee silently made its way down the cables and wires to the heart of the machine, so that when she started it again, zap and that was it. She was no more. Oh she looked alright and sounded alright but if you were observant you may have seen the gleam in her eye, the rosiness of her cheeks, the fuller lips. You may have noticed she laughed a little differently. No was observant so no did notice. They were all surprised six years later when she unleashed her wrath and robot army on a an unsuspecting populist. It all started with spilled coffee.

Vlad

Like so many women before her the thought of his rough and arrogant attitude, his ability to kill a tiger with a single shot and his angry sneer mind her knees weak and her usually sensible mind turn to mush. What is about a man who we know is the worst sort of man to fall in love with is always the one we fall in love with. She was contemplating just that when he walked in the room. He was hot and sweaty from judo practice and she really had meant to give him a piece of her mind, but that mind was now all mushy thinking about how good he looked all hot and sweaty.

The Mechanical Pencil

She stood on the fringe of the room holding a notebook and mechanical pencil. She waited while all the chairs filled up biding her time, clicking and retracting the lead of her pencil. When the lights dimmed and the presentation began she slid into the chair behind him. She clicked her pencil one last time and jabbed it into his neck where she knew the drug would work its' magic. She silently slid from her seat as the man in front of her slowly slumped over, she was out the doors and on the way to her car before he even hit the floor.

Self Analysis

Sometimes she knew she talked way too much. She tried to stop but it was impossible, for it was surely a family trait. Her niece did not utter a single word until she was two and has not shut up since. The girl could talk a lion out of killing her. When she spoke with her sister on the phone sometimes the conversation could go on for half an hour with her uttering a single word. She was pretty sure her sister had no idea what a period was. How do you stop talking so much if it is all you know?

Cafe Au Lait

Seriously how hard is it to make a cafe au lait? Well you would be surprised how many people have no idea how to make one. She was starting to get fed up with these baristas in fancy coffee shops who could not even make a simple cafe au lait. When she walked into the cafe shop on the corner from her apartment she groaned in agony as she spotted a new person behind the counter. When she reached the front of the line she ordered the cafe au lait and to her great surprise the guy new exactly how to make a cafe au lait. I mean he did have a french accent after all.

Chili

She had a half opened bottle of arrogant bastard beer in the fridge and an arrogant bastard sitting on her couch, so she did the only thing she could think of, she made chili. It was probably the most delicious chili she had ever made. The Arrogant bastard thought so and when combined with the jalapeno corn bread he never noticed the slight acrid taste the rat poison gave the chili. Two arrogant bastards down, a world full of them to go.